We were two spirals,
two incongruent maelstroms inside,
confined and trying to get past our minds.
But the lines we threw
just wouldn’t align that night,
as I ran from speaking to you all last night
as I refused to externalize anything
to prove what I was seeking
in seeking to have nothing to prove,
as I refused to externalize that volatile kind
of violent wave which swamped my mind,
that silent surge of fear pushing through
to insecure, safe, invading silence
seeking to drown, to fill lungs with repressed fire.
I can only guess from your eyes
a different, but similar fight
to climb above the towering tide,
to escape the deepening pit
excavating your brain and stomach
with twists of cold sickness,
the icy hand shifting your intestines,
because it shouldn’t have felt like this,
like some debilitating magic trick
where all we shared suddenly vanished
and we found ourselves empty-handed.
different faces 